Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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