i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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