Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
