He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
