brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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