I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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