Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
