i don't plan on having that self control this summer
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
