just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
