She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
