Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
