Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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