so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
