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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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