Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
