i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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