Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
