maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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