I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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