did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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