READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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