I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
