If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
