Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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