things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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