Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
