About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
