maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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