thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
