Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are leaves in my underwear?
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