This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
