I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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