That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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