We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
