I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
