Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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