Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
