woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
