the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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