This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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