It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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