Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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