She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
