hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Randomize
