Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
