Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can I color on your dick again?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
