Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
