They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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