i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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