well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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