I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
