Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
