You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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