I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
